Stuff that ConFoUNds, INSPIRES, proVoKes and PerpleXes us.

Author Archives: GatrDun

Me and My Shadow | Lifetime Best Friends

There is a lot of time spent looking for it, but it’s always been right in front of you…

You can’t buy it, but it is invaluable…

When you are alone, it is your shadow…

It is mold-able, but best when it takes on its own shape…

When you feel the weakest or most vulnerable, it is the strongest…

It does not have a size or shape, but it fits you like a glove…

shadow friendFriendship…  Not just any friendship, but those few special relationships that happen during your lifetime.  Some find it early…  Maybe somewhere between kindergarten and middle school.  Or maybe it develops or even survives through those formidable high school years when the “drama” reaches all time highs…  High school is a very tough time indeed.  Especially when the world revolves around so many individuals caught in their “me moments” and influenced by “reality TV” where everyone is expected to be a pop-star…  Yes, high school is a very tough time when everyone tries to be someone or something that they are not in order to feel “accepted”.

And then there is the plunge into adulthood.  At 18 years of age you can fight for your country, buy porn and vote, but you can’t buy a six pack to share with a friend.  It is marked by going to college or entering the workforce.  A time when everyone seems to go on their separate ways to “find themselves” and their place in our society.  Some people are forever wandering in the shallow end, while others are not afraid to dive further into the depths without a life preserver.  It is the shallow end that has the highest concentration of people and requires the most chlorine to keep “clean”…

This is not about how many friends you have on the social networks like Facebook or MySpace.  It is not a competition to see who has thousands of “friends” monitoring  your every “what’s on your mind” update or Tweet into cyberspace.   It is not a popularity contest measured by how many people “like” the clever post or insights.  It is about recognizing who and where your friends are.

It can be an especially difficult time (and lonely) when going away to college.  The moment sneaks up on you until you are suddenly miles away from familiar surroundings and people to be dropped off alone at a dorm.  You are probably sharing a room for the first time, and to top it off you’re sharing with a total stranger.  And then you find yourself walking down a hallway with nothing but a towel and your personal hygiene products to the “community showers” with not so perfect strangers lurking around every corner.  If you are not comfortable in your own skin, this will cause some serious anxiety.  These are the moments of truth.  You can decide to walk proudly on your journey making eye contact  and greeting everyone you meet while in your state of nakedness or bury your face into the wall as you scurry to where you can minimize exposure and hide yourself…

So where is this going?  Can you relate?  Has this experience happened to you?  Well, everyone feels the same way.  We are all human.  We are social beings.  We have feelings of insecurity and confidence at different times.

And at times it seems that finding a best friend is impossible… but it really rather simple to do…

Just four things is all it takes:

  1. Know your passions (what excites you into action?)
  2. Know your dislikes (those things you can’t tolerate)
  3. The willingness to be yourself and your own best friend.
  4. Be consistent and always remember 1, 2 and 3.

Speaking from experience and good fortune, there are several types of lifetime “best friends”.  Each one and their relationship are very different, but all share a best friend (you).  Friends are made when not looking for one, but when you are confident being yourself.   If there is something that you are doing to “fit in” but don’t like how you feel, do you really think others like it?  And that “worry” about what your parents think is probably unfounded…  The fear of them seeing a particular post or making a comment on your Facebook is unfounded…  Who knows, you might even find a t-shirt in a drawer indicating that they have been there and done that in an earlier life…

To find friends you must not hesitate…  You’ve got to be spontaneous…  Find your voice and speak up…  And don’t forget to listen (the two ears one mouth thing) because you will learn from others. Temper your emotions in consideration and respect for the other person and situation.  It’s all good…

So jump in the deep end of your “pool” of friends without hesitation…  It is much more exhilarating…  and if you struggle, there are lifelines.   You will find that true best friends will be there always…

Originally published June 8, 2010

photo: Clowruh

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestmail

A Touch of Class

The anniversary of 9/11 has again came and gone. Filled with a weekend of events, television shows, and media documentaries and tributes, the emotions of the day are again sparked in our hearts and minds. It is only after the tragedy and efforts of so many people, that we can reflect and show our respect to those that sacrificed so much.
Continue Reading

Sharing Coffee with the Enemy…

It has been some time since we addressed the many uses of coffee grounds (recycling, right?) and knowing your enemy (those pesky little black ants that appear in the spring and disappear sometime in the fall.  Not that it has not been on our minds, but there was the fear of jinxing a good thing… Continue Reading

August is Full of Surprises

If you haven’t already, take a look at this month’s calender.  August, 2010, is unique. Notice first that there are 5 Sundays this month. And 5 Mondays! And 5 Tuesdays! This won’t happen again until 2021. Most of us will be around for that, right? Continue Reading

Lessons from the Good Samaritan

John Quinones, ABC investigative reporter and host of “What would you do?”, highlighted a psychological experiment titled “Would you be a good Samaritan?” on Tuesday 8/17/2010.  Although I found it to be informative, there was not any earth shattering revelations to those of us that believe people are basically good, and given the opportunity, will… Continue Reading